February 15, 2009

A few years ago, a woman came to my office and said, “Sarah, I need to talk to you.  I am really distressed.  I have been praying and praying to God and he isn’t answering me and I’m becoming discouraged and losing faith.  I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”  So I asked, “What is your prayer?”  She answered, “My son is in college, he’s met a girl who’s not in school, she has some piddly part-time job, and she doesn’t seem to be at all ambitious.  My son is spending all his free time with her and his friends never get to see him.  He hardly ever comes home and he didn’t make Dean’s list last semester.  So, I asked God to get him turned around.  I prayed that God would get him to see that she wasn’t a good influence and that he needed to get back on track with his plan and get serious about his studies again.  I asked that he spend more time with people with the same goals and be open to meet a more appropriate girlfriend.  But, nothing’s changed.  It’s as if God doesn’t hear me or care about what’s happening to my son.  I’m really worried and I don’t know what else to do.  I’ve talked to my son, but he doesn’t see my point.  I went to God knowing he can help, but he isn’t.  What do I do now?” 

I answered something like, well, I hear in your prayer that you love your son.  You want and you believe that God can bless him and help him have a good life.  I hear that you have a clear idea what a good life would be for your son and, at present, you feel confident that your vision for him is better than his own.  I hear in your prayer that you have given this agenda over to God and you want him to make it so.  You’ve thought, considered, and put real effort into what needs to unfold to keep your son safe, happy and productive and, as you are a good and faithful person, God just needs to intervene and carry out the details.  Seems like a simple straightforward request for an all powerful, ever present God.  And you say you’re losing faith and feeling dejected because God isn’t answering your prayer.  But, I wonder if something else is happening.  Maybe God has heard the prayer of your mouth and the prayer of your heart, and he is answering the one not spoken.  What if God heard the prayer you didn’t say, but was what brought you to your knees in the first place?  Maybe God is acting on the safe, happy and productive part and looking past your detailed outline to make it so.  Maybe God knows more than even this loving mother.  Maybe God knows that in order for this young man to grow into the full person he is meant to be, he has to make some new decisions on his own.  He must try out some new relationships and interact with people with different worldviews.  Maybe at this time in his life he has to separate himself from his parents’ plan in order to discover what are his values and beliefs so he can truly claim them as his own. 

Perhaps God knows that by letting this young man look beyond your good plan and try other options, even make a few mistakes and miscalculations, he will stretch and grow his own character.  Not making the Dean’s list may narrow his graduate school options, but the time he spends away from his books may keep him from resenting his life fifteen years from now and asking, “How did I end up here?”

I imagine somewhere in your soul you know that and what is nagging at you a bit is the quality of your prayer.  I suspect that there’s a piece of you that knows that God really isn’t in the business to do our bidding, to take our grand plans and well conceived schemes and erect them for our glory.  I wonder if what you’re really worried about is whether you have enough faith, enough real belief to trust God to be God and take care of us, as we need.  Why are you giving God directions?  Maybe the prayer you need answered is the prayer of a restful heart.  Maybe you need to ask God to calm your anxiety, to build your trust, to help you know deep in your soul that he is on the job.  The prayer of your heart might be, “Lord, I know the child, the child you love and entrusted to me for just awhile is in your care and keeping.  I know you will watch over him and do what is best for him.  I so love the gift you gave me in letting me bring him to this point that I’m afraid to let go.  I know you well, but I’m still afraid, so I ask that you help my unbelief and my distrust.  I ask that you give me patience and confidence in you.  I ask that my prayer truly be “thy will be done” without any helpful suggestions or detailed game plans from me.  Please help me be the best mother I can be in this new phase of our relationship.  Please help me be that mother by trusting you more. 

The woman left my office with a new perspective in her mind.  She said she felt better.  I hope that was true.  As she left, I thought, “Let go and let God,” is a great bumper sticker.  It’s succinct.  It’s good theology.  It’s easy to understand, it’s just hard to live into.  As much as we know about the province and essence of God, it is still so difficult to get out of his way and allow him to do His will with us and on us.  This need to control and direct, this underlying worry that God isn’t really present to our needs is a reality and an obstacle of the human condition.  This particular challenge is no secret to God; in fact, it is addressed pointedly in our lesson from Kings. 

Thousands of years ago, a great man, a mighty warrior, the commander of a delivering army, had a scary condition.  He was concerned about his health and his ability to lead with the disease.  So, Naaman seeks help from every quarter.  Desperate for a cure, he takes the advice of a captive Israelite servant and goes to the King of Israel for relief.  He is sent to Elisha, God’s great prophet.  Naaman arrives at the front of Elisha’s tent with his full retinue.  Horses, chariots, slaves, guards stand at attention outside the flaps.  Elisha doesn’t come out.  He doesn’t come to see the grand spectacle.  He sends word by a messenger.  “Go wash in the Jordan River and all will be made well.”  Naaman is flummoxed.  He can’t believe this is God’s answer.  He is a great man.  Surely, there is some grand gesture to be made.  Surely, God will want the prophet to see him face-to-face and do some sacred dance or healing service.  Surely, a dispatched message to rinse in a puny, inconsequential river is a mistake. 

Naaman wants a cure.  Naaman wants God’s intervention, but the great commander has his own ideas about what that involvement and action should look like.  Naaman wants a cure, but he also wants to tell God how to bring it about.  Luckily, happily for the inflicted, infected warrior, he has people around him who help him see the real issue.  If you come to God because you believe God is God, then you leave the outcome to God.  The only reason to come and leave your troubles, worries and dilemmas with God is that they are beyond your ability to work them out.  We are created with reason and stamina.  We are set into communities and relationships.  We have access to answers and solutions.  We go to God when our resources fail us.  We go to God, the Almighty, the all-knowing, the ever-present, the all powerful when our plans don’t pan out.  It’s our nature and it’s most ironic.  At our wits end, we turn to God to make things right and then we have the audacity to tell God how to do his Godly business.  Like he needs our suggestions.  Like our ideas are better.  As if we could possibly come up with a solution, he hasn’t considered.  “Why, thank you mortal, I’ll get right on that.”  It’s a wonder that God doesn’t laugh himself senseless.  It’s a wonder He continues to hear us and answer our prayers – the prayers of our hearts ignoring the foolishness of our mouths.

“Let Go and Let God” – a simple declaration, a sound principle, easy to say, hard to adopt.  Maybe the best prayer for a people wanting to be faithful is, “Lord, please make my heart truly desire, ‘thy will be done’.”  Lord, if my heart can turn to that request, I know, I know, all will be well. 

Lent is soon upon us.  Lent is a season set aside to consider anew our faithfulness, to turn from our prideful ways to the way of trusting God.  Repentance, “metanoia” the turning around towards God, is our call of the season.  To ready ourselves, let us start with the quality of our prayer.

“Thy will, not mine be done, O, Lord.”

Amen.