April 19, 2009

Thursday evening, your vestry met and began its work as it does every month with an expeditious welcome, then an opening prayer offered by a pre-assigned member.  We have a schedule for the entire year, so no one is caught off guard and forced into extemporaneous praying.  Following the articulate, well-prepared prayer, we commence a group Bible study.  Our practice is to read and consider the appointed gospel passage for the upcoming Sunday.  Three days ago, we listened to the words you just heard and, around the table there were many questions and several strong reactions.  Much of the aroused energy centered on a deep identification with Thomas and concern that he had gotten a “bad rap” for a natural reaction.  Considering the resurrection from the dead was a once-in-all-time phenomenon, something novel, unexpected and unexplained, some amount of initial doubt seems reasonable.  As we had a full agenda, more questions were raised than we had time to answer and the thought occurred, if there was puzzlement in that room, there might be questions in this room.  So, with a bit more time and clear intention, let us look for God’s revelation in John’s resurrection account.

Concerning Thomas’ doubt, we need to place his reaction in the context of everything we know about this hand-picked disciple and in the context of what we know about John, the author of the account.  The most detailed characterization of Thomas in the Bible comes from the pages of John.  He is first described as the most loyal follower.  When Jesus is summoned to Bethany to save the dying Lazarus, the disciples try to dissuade him from going, saying “Rabbi, the Jews were just now trying to stone you, and you wish to go there again?”  They continue to press him insisting Lazarus will be all right, but when Jesus sets out for the town, Thomas says to the others, “Let us go also, even if we die with him.”  Thomas is all in.  He is committed to the leader, even when he doesn’t understand the mission.  Not quite getting the message is a recurring theme with Thomas.  He is portrayed to us as a literal minded, concrete thinker.  Nuance and metaphor are lost on this disciple.  After washing their feet at the Last Supper, Jesus tells the twelve he is soon to leave them and that he will go before them to his Father’s house.  He tells them they know the way to get there.  Jesus is, of course, referring to living a righteous life so, at their end, they will join him in heaven.  Thomas answers, Lord, you haven’t said exactly where you’re going, how can we know the way to an undetermined location?  Thomas is ready to follow, but he wants to avoid getting lost.  He’d like some directions, something to hold in his hand, something tangible to guide him.  Thomas experiences the world through his senses.  He trusts what he can see, hear, taste, touch and smell.  Things are real to him when he can interact with them in a physical way.  Thomas is not an intuitive person.  He does not draw conclusions from concepts.  He is not an idea man.  He is just not wired that way.  Connecting dots in a linear pattern, providing clear, substantive details is the way into Thomas’ understanding. 

When Jesus escaped death at Bethany, when he avoided stoning in that location, Thomas assumed his friend and leader was safe for good.  He believed the crisis had passed.  When Jesus was later arrested and actually crucified, Thomas was devastated.  He was caught completely off guard and, for a methodical, measured person, the abrupt change was unbearable.  The other disciples fled in fear of reprisals.  They assumed informants would give their names to the Jewish authorities and they, too, would be arrested or worse, they’d be attacked by a mob.  They fled, but they stayed connected.  They met up.  They let one another know where they were staying and they gathered the night after the crucifixion.  Ten of the eleven were there.  Thomas was not.  He was undone, grief stricken, completely rocked.  He had no desire to draw comfort or encouragement from the others.  Their company would have been a painful reminder to him of the community he had lost.  With the head snatched away, what was the point of staying connected to the body.  Thomas stayed away, alone and apart in his heartbreak and confusion.  For a week, he sorted things out in his mind.  For a week, he plodded through all the things he remembered Jesus saying.  He looked for answers and evidence and rationale.  As he is coming to terms with the loss of his great teacher and real friend, the others come with news that, aha, Jesus is not really gone.  They’ve seen the Lord!  Thomas, being who he is, being who God made him to be, is not made easy by this announcement.  This is too much to comprehend.  First, Jesus is alive and well and “the Messiah,” then he is brought low and treated like a criminal and dies like any other mortal, and now he’s alive and a full reigning Messiah again?  Thomas reacts as is his nature.  He relies on his senses.  Show me something I can see!  Give me something I can hold onto, literally in my hand.   I want to believe, help me.  I can’t grasp what you’re saying.  My mind doesn’t work that way.  I can’t go through this grief and confusion in my brain all over again.  I have to see.  I have to touch, then, then I’ll be at peace, then I’ll be able to believe.  Without that experience, I’m agitated.  I am not at peace and without peace, I cannot believe. 

In the gospel story, John presents several facts.  Thomas is a loyal follower.  Thomas is a literal thinker.  Thomas lacks faith because he has no confidence in ethereal ideals.  John understands that Jesus called Thomas to be a disciple, one of the first chosen, but in truth, John does not have much respect for Thomas.  John is not a sensate person.  John is highly intuitive.  He is most comfortable when he is in his head.  He distrusts the physical world.  He believes the senses are a lower form of functioning.  John is all about the mind and the intellect and the vast capacity of the soul freed from earthly bodily concerns.  The way John writes, the images he uses, there are always double meanings, veiled references, nuances everywhere.  The way John experiences the world is through ideas.  The way John is wired, the way God made John is as a mind over matter individual.  Physical evidence is less compelling than the veracity, the truth of the overriding concept in John’s world.

From John’s point of view, Thomas is a clod.  Ironically, for years and years, early church fathers resisted including John’s account in the canonized scripture because they felt he was part of an overly intellectualized sect, a group that prided itself on having special, secret knowledge and insight into the mind and intent of God.

So, in this account, we have two views of faith exposed.  We have Thomas who represents the humans who come into this world experiencing life and ideas through their senses and surroundings, who make decisions based on physical realities.  Through Thomas, we see how faith resides in tangible actions, observable incidents.  The gas gauge was on empty.  I was in the country.  I prayed for help.  I drove 20 more miles.  There was an exit and a gas station.  I was delivered – there’s the proof – there is a God!

We have the understanding of John who represents these humans who come into this world experiencing life and beliefs through intellectualized imaginings.  They ask what if?  Could this be possible?  If this were so, what might also be true?  Does it seem better if these things were true and, if so, let’s go with that idea.  The pursuit of the possible, better truth is more compelling to them than the present physical reality.  The gas gauge is on empty.  If I run out of gas, I will find myself in a place of new opportunity.  Something will be learned.  Something different will be experienced.  There is a God!  Two view of faith, both articulated and both accepted and affirmed by the Risen Lord.  Jesus comes out of the tomb.  Now in the world for a little while longer, now before he ascends and goes to his Father’s house as he promised, he appears in a locked room to shore up the faith of the disciples he leaves behind.  They must be assured and at peace so that they will have confidence and fervor to carry his message forward.  For the intuitive ones, he provides a vision into the possible.  He gives them a glimpse into the kingdom of heaven and what awaits them.  Death is overcome.  For the sensing disciples he says, “ Put your finger here and see my hands.  Reach out your hand and put it in my side.  Do not doubt, but believe.”

All sorts of people with a variety of gifts and differing ways of experiencing the world were called in the original group of disciples.  The same is true for those who come later and the same is true today.  As we are made in infinite, delightful, variety, so we experience faith differently.  God made us this way.  Christ finds a way to meet us this way.

Our work, dear ones, is to know ourselves, to recognize our created nature and then to look for the signs Christ sends us that answer our particular faith needs.  For the intuition, for the senses, he is in heaven with the Father advocating on our behalf.  He sends us the signs we need to encourage our belief.  He sends signs so his hope for us will be accomplished.  “Peace be with you.”  “Do not doubt, but believe.”

See the signs you need. Believe.  Accept the peace that comes when doubt is pushed out and belief is let in.  Amen.